Dialogs for Young People’s Societies 

No. 46 

PAINTING the CHURCH 

RED. 


DIALOG 

FOR 5 FEMALES. 


By E. J. FREUND. 


Price 10c per copy. 
No plays exchanged. 


ANTIGO PUBLISHING COMPANY 

ANTIGO, WISCONSIN 


Copyright 1916 Antigo Pub. Co. 








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Dialogs for Young People’s Societies 

No. 45 

PAINTING the CHURCH 

RED. 


DIALOG 

FOR 5 FEMALES. 

By E. J. FREUND. 


Price 10c per copy. 
No plays exchanged. 


ANTIGO PUBLISHING COMPANY 
ANTIGO, WISCONSIN 


Copyright 1916 Antigo Pub. Co. 








Painting the Church Red. 





Cast of Characters: 


Mrs. Miller, President of the Ladies Aid and 
chairman of the Executive Board. 

Mrs. Taylor, Vice President. 

Mrs. Layman, Secretary. 

Mrs. Tavern, Treasurer. 

Mrs, Nolan, Calling Committee. 


Scene: Parlor at Mrs. Miller. 


Dresses: Modern. 


add 17 1916 


TMP92—009308 


i^ui.O 4 3854 


Painting the Church Red. 

(Curtain rising- discovers Mrss. Miller, Taylor 

and Layman in tete-a-tete.) 

Miller. Ha, ha, that’s very good. I like stories 
like that.—But it is getting time for the other 
committee members to be here. 

Layman. You mean Mrs. Tavern and Mrs. 
Nolan, I s’pose. 

Miller. 'Yes, our Treasurer and our Calling 
Committee. 

Taylor. What’s the use to have them here? 
I’m sure Mrs. Tavern will let nobody else 
talk as soon as she arrives. She is the worst 
gossip I ever set my eyes on. 

Layman. Don’t listen to her, is my advice, for 
if you do you’ll forget everything you want 
to say about yourself. 

Miller. Well, since they are members of the 
Executive Board like ourselves, we ought 
to. 

Taylor. Why, they always talk and talk and 
talk about their own affairs and their family 
matters. We ladies don’t talk much, we 
only act. 

Miller. You are perfectly right, Mrs. Taylor, 
we don’t talk much, we simply act. It’s for 
action that I’ve called you here.... 



4 


Layman (interrupting her.) Yes, we know. 
What I was going to say — the W. 0. T. U. 
committee of the M. E. church called on me 
the other day— in fact it was Mrs. Strath¬ 
more the president of the organization — to 
ask me whether we would be willing to join 
in their temperance movement. 

Taylor. Shucks, temperance! Why, the more 
temperance we have, the more people will 
drink. 

Miller. Do they want to close the saloons? 

Layman. I guess so. They have appointed a 
committee which is to see every saloonkeeper. 

Taylor (interrupting her.) And I bet they’ll 
get a drink in every saloon they enter. 

Miller. And before they’ll know it they’ll feel 
boozy, and stagger. 

Layman. Well, temperance is a fine thing to 
have. 

Miller. You Ye right, Mrs. Layman. — I think 
I hear somebody coming. 

Taylor. Maybe the rest of our committee. 

(Enter Mrs. Tavern and Mrs. Nolan.) 

Mrs. Tavern. How-dy, ladies. Well, I hope I 
ain’t late. 

Nolan. Oh, I had so much to do before I could 
get away — I feel so tired in my legs. 

Miller. Sit down, ladies, and rest.(last comers 


» 



5 


sit)- Glad to see you here. Now that we are 
all assembled, we may just as well.... 

Tavern (interrupting her). Oh, let me get my 
breath first. This walking up here almost 
killed me.... What’s the purpose of calling 
us together, anyhow? I was afraid I couldn’t 
be here. You wouldn’t believe the amount 
•of work I have to do, since my Ella got mar¬ 
ried. 

Taylor. I just know how that is. I myself 
have got my hands full of it. Just before I 
came here I finished papering my dining 
room. But you ought to see how swell it 
looks now. Let me tell you, I found a pattern 
of wall paper which is simply elegant; and 
not expensive at that. 

Layman. That makes me think that I ought to 
do some papering pretty soon. Will you tell 
me where you got your wall paper? 

Miller. Ladies, I have called you to my place 
in order to hear your opinion on a very im¬ 
portant move of the Ladies Aid Society. 

Tavern (whispering audibly into Mrs. Taylor’s 
ear.) I know what she wants: it’s about scrub¬ 
bing the church. But I can’t come. Since 
my Ella got married . .. 

Taylor. Why, Mrs. Miller, if you think that 
the church ought to be papered, I would 


6 


suggest to go to Oleckhofer. That’s where I 
got my wall paper. 

Nolan. Oh, they keep the lovliest paper at 
Monadnock’s. I got some there last year for 
my parlor and it looks grand, simply grand. 
Looking at it one feels like picking roses 
from the wall — for that’s how so very 
natural they look. 

Layman. I am for painting the church walls. 
My husband wouldn’t like paper in it, he says 
wall paper looks out of place in a church. 

Miller. Now, I don’t see why paper should look 
out of place in a church. They papered Grace 
church last year and every one who sees it 
says it’s very pretty. 

Nolan. Oh, well, people will differ as to taste, 
you know. 

Layman. But my husband is a painter, as you 
know, and has done many a church job so far; 
he ought to know what is best for a church. 
Only recently the good Reverend Ulbers said 
to him: Mr. Layman, you certainly know 
how to do a church job, for you’re a master 
painter and always make a first-class job of it. 
That’s what Reverend Ulbers said to him. 

Tavern. I am in favor of papering. But then 
we must have someone to do the job for us, 
for I simply can’t do any more than I am 




7 


doing already. Since my Ella got married. 

Taylor. Oh, have yon got it the same way so 
you can’t reach up high? I don’t know what’s 
the matter with me; when washing window 
cases I have to stretch my arms up high, 
I always see specks flying before my eyes 
and under my arm pits I have a smarting 
sensation. 

Nolan. You don’t wear any safety pins in your 
corset, do you? 

Taylor. I should say, no! 

Miller. I can tell you what’s good for that. 
Five years ago I had the same trouble, and 
once when calling on my husband’s brother- 
in-law’s mother-in-law’s niece, — who was 
studying medicine at that time, she told me, 

A 

says she: Mrs. Miller, if you don’t, take 
Killmen’s Liniment at once, you’ll be a goner 
inside of two years- Well, I bought Killmen’s 
Liniment and felt better right after the first 
dose. So you take it, Mrs. Taylor, and I 
guarantee that you’ll not regret it. 

Nolan. And what would it help her if she did 
regret it! 

Layman. Nothing at all. If you’ll take my 
advice, Mrs. Taylor, you’d rather take some¬ 
thing else ... 

Nolan (interrupting her). Ginger snaps and cat- 



8 


nip tea is good for almost anything. 

Layman. But not for that reaching high pain. 
A friend of mine once used Killmen’s Lini¬ 
ment and grew so very sick, they had o call 
in two doctors — Dr. Curly and Dr. Judith 
they called. Yes, that’s so. Yes, and Dr. 
Judith sat for fully two hours at her bedside 
and made hm-hm! shaking his head and 
bothering his mind what might be the matter 
with her. You must be awfully careful in 
using patent medicine, for nobody knows 
what’s in it. 

Nolan. Well, isn’t there a patent in it? 

Miller. Most likely there is. Now, Mrs. Taylor, 
if I tell you to use Killmen’s Liniment, you 
know it is good. Don't listen to others. My 
brother-in-law’s mother-in-law... I mean my 
husband's brother-in-law’s mother-in-law.... 
Well, now is that it? No, it’s like this, my 
husband’s niece’s brother-in-law's mother-in- 
law. . .. Oh dear, I can’t say it right. 

Taylor. Let me help you out. One oftentimes 
gets so perplexingly mixed up as to make it 
impossible to say things right.. .. 

Nolan (interrupting her). Especially so when 
at a women’s committee meeting. 

Taylor. It’s easy if you say it carefully . . . .You 
meant to say, my brother-in-law’s husband’s 


9 


wife.No! — My husband’s mother-in- 

law .... 

Nolan. Why not make it short and say: My 
mother? 

Taylor. That isn’t it you know. She wanted to 
say, my brother-in-law’s niece’s mother-in- 
law’s husband.. . .There, I am making* things 
worse, I’m sure. 

Tavern. I know just how that is, since my Ella 
got married.... 

Miller. Now I have it — My husband’s brother- 
in-law’s mother-in-law's niece, that’s it. 

Nolan. Well, now isn’t that your aunt? 

Miller. Oh, dear no! My husband’s brother-in- 
law’s mother-in-law’s niece is no relation of 
mine at all. 

Nolan. But it takes a person an awful long time 
to say it, doesn’t it? 

Layman. Don’t forget your say, please- 

Has your brother-in-law got his house 
finished? 

Taylor. Why didn’t you hear about it? Just 
two weeks ago yesterday it caught fire and 
burnt to ashes. 

Layman. Whew! never heard about it? When 
we went by it two weeks ago my husband 
was saying to me, Wonder how long he’ll live 



10 


in it? For it showed a very poor coat of paint 
on it. 

Miller. Since you are mentioning paint — did 
you hear the latest about Mrs. Payne? 

Layman. There, didn’t I tell you so right away! 
What is it? 

Taylor. How terrible! I pity the poor woman. 

Tavern. Only one day before yesterday I said 
to Ella who got married, You’ll see, Ella, 
this ’ll have a bad ending. What was it? 

Miller. I don’t understand you, ladies. She 
has made an inheritance of $3000. 

Layman. The life o’ me! $3000 dollars you 
say ? 

Tavern. You don’t say so! How did that come? 

Layman. Well, if she’s that rich, I hope she'll 
soon pay my husband’s bill for painting her 
house. 

Taylor. Isn't it strange what luck such people 
have! 

Tavern. I’m afraid it’ll be hard after this to get 
along with her. 

Miller. I pity her husband. 

Layman. And £he is such a good man, such a 
handsome man. 

Taylor. Yet, only recently he threw a bunch 
of keys at her head. 

Tavern. No wonder! If I’d be a man and my 


11 


wife would serve that kind o’ grub to me... 
No! My daughter Ella was raised different, 
she knows how to cook and bake and put up 
fruit, and since she got married.. .. 

Miller (interrupting her.) Have you done some 
canning? 

Layman. A little, fifty quarts of strawberries. 
Now I am putting up cherries. 

Taylor. Arn’t cherries fine this season? I just 
love to pick them. 

Nolan. Mine arn’t good at all, the’ve got magots 
in them. 

Miller. Maybe they’re over-ripe, then they are 
liable to get magoty. 

'Tavern. I canned mine just at the right time. 
That was before my Ella got married. Now 
I have to stay with her. 

Miller (interrupting her.) That’s so, we all know 
how that is. At noon I thought I would drive 
over to my sister and help her at sewing; but 
I considered this meeting of the Executive of 
our Aid Society the more important duty. 

Layman. I should say if all the other members 
would take as warm an interest in the welfare 
of the society as we do, we could do some fine 
work. But, alas, there is no harmony, no 
ambition. 

Taylor. They always talk and talk without 



12 


doing a thing. We don’t talk, we act. 

Tavern. You’re right, Mrs. Taylor. They glide 
from one subject to another without talking 
to the point, that’s what I was saying to my 
Ella the other day who got.. .. 

Nolan. Yes, we know, she got married. Say 
what you may of Mrs. Tavern, you can’t deny 
that she is always sticking to the point. 

Miller. And how narrow-minded and small 
people sometimes will get to be! The other 
day when I went to see Mrs. Webber about 
a contribution towards our new church 
furniture, would you believe me what she 
told me? “Nobody'is giving me anything’’, 
she said. 

Layman, Why, that’s only because her man 
didn’t get the carpenter’s job on the church. 
I can’t understand how mean some people can 
be. 

Taylor (looking at watch). Dear me! This is 
four o’clock already. I have to be going. 

Layman. All right, then I resolve that we give 
our church a new coat of paint. 

Nolan. What color? White or Red? 

Layman. Now it appears to me, everybody 
is using white. What do you think of red? 

Taylor. Red is a durable color and always looks 
clean and fresh. 


4 


13 


Miller. But, ladies, have you ever seen a church 
painted red ? 

Layman. Sure! What’s the color of churches 
built of red brick, or of brown pipestone? 

Nolan. And all the world has been doing a lot 
of talking about the “Little Bed School 
House.” 

Taylor. So I am in favor of painting the church 
red. 

Nolan. On the inside or outside? 

Tavern. Wherever it is considered necessary. 
I'll uphold you, Mrs. Layman. 

Miller. It is, then, resolved and upheld that our 
church is to be painted red. Those in favor 
of this, say aye. 

All ladies. Aye! 

(All, except Mrs. Miller, get up and make 
ready for departure.) 

Miller (screams.) Oh dear, Oh dear! 

Layman. What’s the matter now? / 

Miller. That wasn’t what we were going to 
talk about this afternoon! 

Tavern. What, then, was it? 

Miller. Our minister was asking me the other 
day whether our Ladies Society wasn't in 
favor of installing a new pipe organ. To talk 
this over I invited the committee over this 
afternoon. 


14 


Nolan. Well, one thing is sure, we have done 
a lot of piping at this meeting, anyhow. 

Taylor. And we passed a resolution to paint 
the church red! 

Tavern. Just because nobody ever said a word 
about a pipe organ. 

Layman. Be that as it may, we’ve passed the 
motion, and whatever is passed is passed. 

Tavern. It seems to me that we must ask the 
society first before taking any steps in that 
direction. My Ella, too, will be here the 
next meeting. 

Miller. Well, I say! How we forgot about the 
pipe organ, I cannot understand. 

Taylor. Why not do both: paint the church 
and buy a new pipe organ? 

Nolan. How could we, Mrs. Taylor! You know 
there isn't enough money in the treasury. 

Layman. Still, the church is to be painted by 
all means. For so it was resolved. 

Tavern. That's right Mrs. Layman. Aside of 
your husband getting the contract, we want 
a nice looking church before we put in a new 
organ. For that’s what my Ella was . .. 

Nolan. Yes, she got married, we know. And 
what is even more, we women don’t do much 
talking like others — we simply act. 


15 

Taylor. You’re quite correct, Mrs-Nolan. And 
a motion is a motion. The church is to be 
painted red. 

All (while leaving). That’s so. That’s so. 

Miller (pensively). If I only knew how we hap¬ 
pened to tumble on painting the church red! 
I am sure nobody wants it painted that way. 

. . (Curtain) 


Dialogs for Young People’s 

Societies. 

Price 10 Cents each. 

1. Here she goes. There she goes, 6m. 

2. Quenching Tyranny. 2m and about 12f. 

3. An interrupted birthday party. 7m. 

4. Stop that fiddle. 5m. 

5. Schooling future housewives. 7m. 

6. The inventor. 4m. 

Hiring a confidential clerk. 6m. 

7. Barking up the wrong tree. 5m. 

8. Don’t lose your temper. 3f, 2m. 

Aunt Bomby is going to Mawrau. If, 5m. 

9. Of a pleasing disposition. 3m, 3f. 

10. According to the cook book, lm, 2f. 

Buying a stamp, lm, 2f. 

11. A home for the lady clerks. 12f. 

12. School Examination. 10m. 

13. Bunny, Cunny and Funny. 3m. 

Inquiring for items of census. 3m, 3f. 

14. Choice humorous recitations. Carefully selec¬ 
ted. Everyone a gem. Cream of English humor. 

15. Her first birthday. 3m, 4f. 

16. That spot on the stairs. 2m, 4f. 

17. If I were president. 2m, 4f. 

18. A good investment. 5m. 

19. A lesson in geography. 7m. 

20. Strike out my name. 2m, 2f. 

21. Curing defective sight. 5m. 

22. Five o’clock tea. 4f. 


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